CAR-D-STRUCTION

This is a riff on a system I've played about with, and, under the pernicious influence of Rob Daviau's Viking Funeral, accelerant-ed. 

one - Deck Construction

(or, Slumming with Teakettle)

Each player gets a deck of cards to start. Preferably CHEAP cards. Or old cards. Or a deck you hate. Or belonging to someone you hate.

The GM has their own deck. It can be as nice as anything — they won't be ripping it up. Probably the nicer the better to really emphasize the grubby reality versus Platonic diktat from on high.

Black suits are the physical. Aces low. (A-2-3-4-5-6-7-8-9-10)

Red suits are the metaphysical. Widdershins. Aces high (10-9-8-7-6-5-4-3-2-A)

Face cards are — god help us — a story aspect. They are worth full points (either a 10 or 1 depending on red/black) but they go BACK into the deck (shuffle it!) instead of being discarded. They are a reoccurring part of the PC's repertoire now.

King - a SIGNATURE move, like say, the Iron Shiek's Camel Clutch. Or Jedi mind tricks. Or I used to have a D&D PC who tried to glue everyone in place like the Trapster (he was summarily killed by a birdman who simply pigeon-hopped over his laid-out adhesives).

Queen - DIVINE intervention, say, "Paris was choked by the richly inlaid strap of his helm, drawn tight beneath his chin, pressing on his soft throat. And Menelaus would have hauled him off and won endless glory, had not Zeus’ daughter Aphrodite, swift to see it, broken the ox-hide strap, so the empty helm was left in Menelaus’ strong grip. He tossed it away into the Greek ranks, where his comrades gathered it, then sprang again to the attack, his bronze spear eager for the kill. But Aphrodite cloaked Paris in mist and, with a goddess’s power, whisked him away, and set him down in his own high sweet-scented room, while she sped off to summon Helen," and this kind of thing.

Jack - an ITEM, either discovered on the floor or knapsack. Cornered, Cornelius abruptly recalled the strange Canteen he had found in the wall earlier and uncorked it, flooding the grounds with salt water that swept away the Lurching Tumuli.

Jack Penny

two - Eruption

(or, Eruption)

Here's a Command and Colors way of doing combat.

PCs have a hand of 5 cards. They play 2 of them per turn - a feint (lead card) and a hole card. The suits are as follows:

Spades - Attack

Clubs - Magik

Hearts - Negotiation

Diamonds - Trickeration

Everybody can do all the things — although the range is limited per your class. So, it's not true that a proper barbarian hates magicians and scorns magicking — he can be a bit of one himself in the proper circumstances, but it's a bit more the kind of magic his throwing dart passes through what you thought was a solid object and finds its way to your throat.

What throws people at first is that Magik is not a metaphysical act. Note that it is a natural law out here. Nothing wu wu about a fireball at all, anymore than a bar code scanner at least. On the other hand, my daughter referred to the hearts suit as, "being nice" which we all can agree is for some folks almost impossible.

three - Loss of Function

(or, Screw the Pretty Dynasties)

In response to this gambit (combat, trickery), the GM pulls from their deck. If the GM's card MATCHES either of PC's cards, it depletes them. PC has to RIP IT UP one of the matching cardsright then and there. No Saving throw. Do not pass go. This can be particularly painful if they are attempting to employ an ITEM (Jack), a DIVINITY (Queen), or a SIGNATURE (King).

(the sword breaks, the god abandons Antony, the acrobat gets the "yips" where before they effortlessly performed the Frankensteiner)

When you're down to 2/3 of your pack (18 cards) it's time to go back to the dollar store and REFRESH to 70 cards. Feel free to use a different deck - the old cards will feel luxuriously soft, their dogeared edges pulling them to the top of the cut.

Maybe Isis, after an extended silence, will talk to you again and point out the dragon's weak spot.

Voodoo Neon

Success is determined by comparing the hole card to the GM's. Suit is important, but not super-important. After all, aggression met by guile can go either way. The hole card's suit wins ties (and remember, face cards are just the high value, be it 10 or 1 — a K is no more powerful than a 10, other than it will be recycled back into your deck).

(As you can see, there is utility to leading with the same suit as our hole (operative card). EXCEPT. You might not have two of the same suit. EXCEPT you might have two face cards of the same suit. EXCEPT if the defender depletes the lead card, it's an automatic success, so done right you can sneak some stuff through)

GM doesn't get a hand of cards, but they can arrange their free draw of 2 cards as appropriate on their turn. No need to lead with the 9 and a 2 hole. Individual antagonists can mod their decks as appropriate (no cowardly hearts for the Fighting Uruk-hai, no Queens of any suit for the deck of Ajax Tlamunus):

The man's father warned him against

such recklessness when he saw him

rushing headlong to war

with these noble words: "My son,

may your spear prevail over all,

but always with a god's protection."

But Aias answered with a high

and thoughtless boast: "My father,

any nobody can win victories

with the help of a god. I trust

I can draw enough glory to me

without them. 

- Sophocles, Aias (translation by Herbert Golder and Richard Pevear)

ONCE AGAIN AESCHINES

You see, fellow citizens, how certain persons have played the game: how they have mustered their offset lithographs and how they have gone scolding up and down rpgnet in an attempt to assert the primacy of their preferred cadence of play. But I have come trusting first in the dice, and THEN the rules, and in you, the players, believing that with you no scheming preparation can override law and justice.

There are, as you know fellow-citizens, three forms of the game — as a wargame, as a resource manager/worker placement apparatus, and as the Monty Haul wherein no martial concern or supply and demand need interfere with the adrenaline rush conferred by the acquisition of glittering things. How, and by what supplement, can these forms be more purposefully leveraged together to create a meaningful artifice? As per a remark by James Settani concerning Monsters and Manuals' "Against the RPG Rulebook Spartans" (concerning USABILITY vs AESTHETICS) that "Art has value, but I cannot run a game using the Mona Lisa," I say:

David Gibbons

I could wish, indeed, fellow citizens, that you could not run a game using the Mona Lisa, for then it would be permitted to the oldest citizen, as the law prescribes, to come forward a run a modern module uninterrupted by shouting and tumult. But now all our standards of procedural generation have been set aside; there are men who do not hesitate to interrupt the description of a staircase with their opinion on every question. For he will say, "I am in charge of mapping these knight-jinx-ed passages, and the graph paper don't line up," and a feasible answer will elicit charges of gamism from the caller.

What then is it that you want to audit, if not my half tone Royal Blue. In this game, so ancient and so great, no man is free from the audit who has held any public trust.

source

Or even, the mellophonium pitched to F:

this is a trumpet tho

Be ye my witnesses, O Earth and Sun, and virtue and Conscience, and the Oral tradition by which we distinguish the honorable and the base, that I have heard the "games master's" call and spoken. I have spoken according to my desire, if insufficiently, according to my ability. It remains for you to answer according to your inventory.

Obligatory: